You know what they say – you make plans and you hear God laughing.
I have never been a huge planner, I was always the one to say “it’s way too early to be talking about Saturday” and sometimes I’m still that annoying person. I hate plans, honestly. Luckily I live with a man who plans everything and anything so he has kind of taught me how to plan without pulling my entire head of hair out while doing so.
I’m at a stage in my life where plans scare the shit out of me, even more than before. I want to settle here, but I want to travel and see more. Do I want to settle? I don’t know where my path is going, where my life is going to end up really, and planning it makes my head ready to explode. I’ve been feeling lost, to say the least. And you?
It seems natural, like 25 is the age where your mind starts to drag itself from point A to point B to Z to F to Q to L back to A and repeat a million times over. I mean, I’ve always had a busy mind, but h.o.l.y woah. 25 really knows how to rev the engines on the thinking game. And I say it seems natural because I feel like I hear a lot of people my age say they feel lost. I think that’s ok. Actually, it really is ok, you know? Being lost is good.
I paint, you may know that. For no reason really, just because I like to. Similar to how I like to be in the kitchen. I never set up a life where I wanted to be an artist or a baker or whatever, do you know what I mean? I never had a plan to start painting and make it a career. I never really had a plan at all, clearly. I’m a hygienist who blogs and does freelance writing, paints for people’s cozies, likes to bring people together through words and art, wonders where the journey is leading and goes to bed with a mind that doesn’t stop running. That’s what I do. I’m not a graduate from an amazing art school. I didn’t study how to bake cupcakes. I just paint and sit in the kitchen with a huge-ass cup of coffee because I like to.
When I pick up a paint brush, I get lost. I let the painting take me somewhere and I think that’s what we need more of in this world. We need to, just for once, let something take us somewhere. Give up the control and rev’d up mind and completely fall apart – let it take YOU.
I have no plan when I paint, no idea what is going to end up on the canvas. I do abstract painting, and I let it take complete control. How hard is it to let something else take control? Pretty hard, honestly. We have this thing about us, humans, where we want to be in control. We want to have full access to the outcome. The thing is though, it’s good not to know sometimes.
It’s good to feel lost. I promise.
Maybe you need to find something that gets you lost, or maybe you need to accept that you feel lost in life right now and just take it in. If you don’t know what your career is going to be, that’s ok. If you don’t know where you want to live, that’s ok too. Life moves so fast that I try to take in every hat I’m filling at the time. If you are a girlfriend, take that shit in. One day you will be a wife and you will be in a whole new stage. You may even look back on being a girlfriend and wish you could re-live it for just one day. If you are a wife, take that in. One day you may be a mom. That one day will come. We look so far forward, we plan so far ahead, it takes over the current moments.
The journey is the best part.
[SKIRT : free people]
[TOP : sabo skirt]