I know, you probably know. I’ve been all over Insta with meditation and clarity/unwinding posts.
Basically, I’m a mind full of thoughts – ALL.THE.TIME.
I’ve been asking readers to tell me what THEY are doing for unwinding and getting themselves on a mat. If they do, how? When? Why? What helps to get you there? All of those questions, because I needed answers.
I tend to always think I can take on whatever and get it done – I’m the type of person who continues to give their boyfriend ‘that look’ when he asks people for help. I’m like WHY can’t we just do it on our own? It’s a problem sometimes, because it has completely followed through into my ‘I can take on anything’ attitude.
Don’t get me wrong – there are positives to that. But really, it can come in full speed and break you down as well.
A few months ago I found myself completely overwhelmed. Not surprising, I know – but I’ll never forget feeling like I couldn’t handle ANYTHING, like things were just closing in and I was going down with it all.
Let me explain.
I left work sick, which I NEVER do, and as I was driving home I felt myself continuously going over everything I still had to get done. I couldn’t control my thoughts, my mind was going a million miles per hour and my head was SPINNING.
The nausea got worse at every single thought.
I parked my car and I completely broke down in a way I never have before. I felt so unfocused, confused, lost, tired, exhausted and every single word relating to that. I felt so sick to my stomach, so unhealthy even though I was doing everything to be healthy. I was working out, doing cardio, eating right, reducing dairy and sugar, I basically felt like I couldn’t do anything more.
The thing is, I took on way too much and didn’t realize it until I was the person locking my car having a mental breakdown who couldn’t stay at work.
That girl. Yes.
Which I felt eh, embarrassed (maybe?) about – but It’s OKAY to need space, time, anything to get your mind right. It’s OKAY to feel like you’ve hit the end point and need to step back. It’s OKAY to realize you just left work because you’re having a mental breakdown. Next time you can HELP that. You can control that. YOU have the power over it.
Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way. But to push it aside and not admit it, that’s not okay. That’s what will continue the train wreck.
Now, I will say – I felt this coming on the entire week. The night before I broke down for no reason – thinking I was probably just being a tired GIRL. You know. My chest got so tight I had a panic attack and a full-blown meltdown about not feeling right. Bill told me to stay home the next day, obviously saying no – he started to beg me to stay home. To stop for a minute and take care of myself.
For some reason, I couldn’t process any of that. I felt like I had too much to do to even THINK about staying home.
Then, of course, I hit a wall. Everything stopped and my body broke down. I made myself sick, tired and worn out. I couldn’t eat or sleep, nothing felt right. I thought I should call my family – because shit, my body is dying thoughts came in hot. So, I went home.
I had to sit down with no one around me. I didn’t care where it was. I just had to. I couldn’t stare at my computer or my mental health would turn to shit.
Yoga was always a thing I loved, but I never actually cared for sitting on my mat doing Savasana at the end of my flow. Why? I had a hard time with it. I felt like I couldn’t do it, so I would completely ignore it and shut it off – no effort what so ever.
I could NOT, for the life of me, shut my mind off.
There were times I would do yoga at home and I would actually stop in the middle of the flow because I felt like the floor I was looking at in downward dog needed to be cleaned again. I KNOW.
It got so bad, I would actually dread that part of my yoga class. I would THINK about the Savasana, wonder what was wrong with me, then continue with my day. LITERALLY. I mean, thinking about the part where you are supposed to basically NOT be thinking?… er… help.
So, after having a mental breakdown at my car, I got on my mat, in my living room with no one around me, phone OFF and away where I couldn’t reach it, no one talking, doors shut, completely zoned out from everything.
I did extremely slow yoga flows to warm my body up and then, finally, I was in Savasana for the longest I’ve ever been in it, completely zoned out and relaxed in my body. I felt where my tension was, my jaw started to loosen, my chest was super warm – where a ton of my anxiety goes – and my mind was finally not thinking about what I had to do next.
It was life changing, to say the least. That’s when I started to get into meditation and unwinding more – and I wanted to see what other people were doing! Some have told me to write things down on a piece of paper before I start yoga/meditating and then at the end re-write and see the difference. THAT is brilliant, right?
The whole situation taught me a lot, especially being so insane about my health and what I put into my body, why wouldn’t I be the same about my mental health?
It all goes hand in hand – you can’t be healthy with a mind that won’t let you relax from time to time. You need that space, that mental clarity, that mental detox.
Working out was in my weekly schedules, it was a necessary part of my days. I thought I had it all together, until I didn’t. I thought go-go-go was the best option, until it wasn’t.
This epiphany made me realize how much more there is to fitness and health – it didn’t have to do with my jeans fitting, it was all about helping my mind. I think that really stuck with me, and it helps to know you are doing something for yourself and not just because it’s what society says you should be doing, you know?
It helps when you get on your mat and you know why you are there. You know you need to shut down and completely zone out. You know the purpose for doing what you are doing. That helps.
After, you feel like a new person. You feel like you CAN get everything done, but it’s OKAY if you don’t. Everything kind of just falls into place and you begin to come back to Earth instead of staying in mind-fuck city.
WITH THAT – I’m about to go do yoga and a verrrrry long Savasana after.
Tips? Anything else? Are you meditating?
OUTFIT DEETS :
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